Thursday, on September, 11th 2008
To sleep for four hours a day it is harmful. But I sleep. Any more the first month. Thus I, naturally, do not get enough sleep at all and every day I dream only of that somewhere is imperceptible so to take a nap... How I sleep in transport, I already spoke =). But I am awake the remained 20 hours. Every days for 20 hours for work, rest, fun, friends, a diary... It is a lot of. But for some reason I all the same am in time nothing...
Gradually I come to conclusion, that it is time to finish already this unfortunate experiment and to start to sleep at least for seven hours. Here today also I will start to live under the new schedule. A release at 23.00 and one minute later
. I will save for the diary account. This aspect of my life - most inutile of all. I in general already wish it to remove to all devils... But while will power suffices, I behave in hands...
If suddenly I disappear - means, will power has conceded to desire to finish it bestolkovym employment on which in my present life simply there is no time.
But I hope, that nevertheless when I will start to sleep for seven hours, it becomes easier to operate own will power (I will cease to think continuously of that, as though somewhere to have a sleep
). In general, there is a probability, that I all the same will keep this diary and to it I will daily write, well or at least in a day
.
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@музыка: To Elize
@настроение: drowsily-spiteful =)
@темы: , ,
Wednesday, on September, 10th 2008
Absence of a free time leads to that I and here am absent... So happens not always. But so happens.
I sometimes would not like to come here at all... And it thus, that I have created to myself a cosy corner where I can complain of a life, not being afraid to be derided... To Complain especially there is nothing, actually. I so wished to live. Therefore I so live.
But after all and to rejoice there is nothing, as it is a shame to recognise it.
For what I eternally am engaged in it?. Who me asks to be dug in itself?. Bad habit, it is necessary to get rid somehow... Moreover this autumn time, "eyes ocharovane...", me influences depressing...
***@музыка: the Spleen - the God has got tired us to love
@настроение: People are candles, or burn, or them in an ass... () *спасибо Breath of Fire for possibility to express mood так*
@темы: , , ,
Monday, on September, 08th 2008
And nevertheless it has appeared suddenly. A boulder. No. The Avalanche...
I knew, that so will be.
Did not want Monday.
I do not love Mondays as those.
But this Monday has broken all records.
To all Mondays Monday.
It seems, I that's it have just ripened today for holiday... Mmm... I Wish to have a rest three, no, four weeks on end! But this happiness yet does not threaten me, and time lasts so long... It is a destiny sneer such. When it would be desirable to stop time, it rushes like mad and when it would be desirable to live somewhat quicker still couple of months - it specially floutingly hesitates.
But anything, I am stronger than these trifles. I in general am quiet and happy. Autotrejning. And that else to me remains!?
@музыка: be-bekane white lambs, which more than black...
@настроение: Black lambs do not suffice for full happiness...
@темы: , ,
Sunday, on September, 07th 2008
Yesterday a hot caustic smoke creeps in in your thoughts, smothers, searches for tears in the fallen asleep sight. He does not wish you to kill. He only wishes to know, that you cry, that to you is bitter and is intolerable, that yours stenanja – about the past. He should feel your pain, to revel in it, to savour, enjoying poslevkusiem loneliness and a despair … He completely owns your consciousness, suppresses will, deprives of mind. But so will be not always. During an instant when you will understand that is captivated past, it is entangled by a web of former hopes, it is tired out in a corner by not come true dreams, you will be released. Also you will start to live. And I wait for you here, in cosy silence of yours tomorrow. Come.
@темы: ,
Saturday, on September, 06th 2008
Inevitably Monday comes nearer... I for the first time for last month do not want its approach. I want, that this pleasure lasted eternally... But "eternally" happens only after a life, and in any way during time...
It is necessary to prolong this sensation, properly to embody it in memory, it so seldom happens to me - that I was absolutely happy. Constantly worrying, irresolute, doubting and engaged samoedstvom. In the small world where all daily to a pain is predicted and it is expected. And the most important thing - I cannot find the reason of this feeling in any way... I have broken all head, guessing, but all the same I can not understand, that has occurred not how always. Why I as mad rejoice to everything, what I see? It is abnormal? But it so is pleasant))). There is no need to search for the reason, and should be.
Stop, the instant, you is fine!
@музыка: the Spleen: Leningrad - Amsterdam
@настроение:
@темы: ,
Friday, on September, 05th 2008
September, fifth, 2008 the site declared
in the orange afternoon. In this connection I spread this wonderful picture
(an orange picture from a site) and with pleasure I join celebrating of such remarkable day (though it already at us and has ended). I love orange days. These are best of existing days
.
@музыка: rustles of minutes in silence
@настроение: certainly orange!
@темы: , ,
Wednesday, on September, 03rd 2008
Roundabouts as people, happen are lonely... Here one of such lonely
roundabouts (a photo from the Internet). It is a pity to me it. Its existence is at all deprived sense... Because meaning of the life of any roundabout - to do people happy. To fill their hearts with uncontrollable pleasure, to recover on persons of a smile, to tear off them from grey everyday life and to carry away in the multi-coloured world of the childhood.
Horrible destiny at this big wheel. However, no more terrible, than at the former inhabitants of Pripyat... Interestingly, most terrible technogenic accident for all history of mankind has learnt people to something?...
Hardly...
@музыка: Enigma
@настроение: the disappointed
@темы: , ,
Tuesday, on September, 02nd 2008
To me now all simply intolerably would be desirable to throw and go
by train where eyes look... The Destination has no value. I love trains, I like to fall asleep under knock of wheels, I love these carload conversations, this open space from windows, eyes, hooters, stations, persons of people, hot tea how much suffice... I Wish to go simply. It will not want yet there, where the house...
@музыка: the Song from an animated cartoon: "Here it what, our summer..."
@настроение: chemodannoe
@темы: , ,
Monday, on September, 01st 2008
08.07.2008 at 05:37
Writes:
On lobbies sidenijah two grandmothers go. Marshrutka almost full. At a stop the guy comes. Transfers to the driver of 10 roubles for journey and receives delivery - 1 rouble. The rouble slips out hands and falls under seats to grandmothers. The guy bends, tries to find delivery and, unexpectedly, pukaet. In marshrutke - silent laughter, giggling. And one of grandmothers speaks another: "Also costed because of rouble so an ass to tear!" Marshrutka blows up from a laughter. The guy becomes crimson and asks to stop marshrutku. In a minute in marshrutku the solid lady comes. Marshrutka continues to laugh. The lady starts itself to examine nervously. Perhaps it at it laugh? Here grandmothers, pokatyvajas from laughter, start to tell to the lady history with rouble. The lady too starts to laugh and here at it from a nose the snivel takes off and gets on grandmothers.... The Lady asks to stop marshrutku. We go further, pokatyvajas from laughter. The driver too together with all laughs loudly, gets cigarettes, lights, slightly opens the hatch over a head. Letting out a smoke in the hatch, addresses to grandmothers: "to you under the hatch (padljukam) does not blow?" The salon blows up from a new fit of laughter. The driver, having understood, that it has told, falls out of a cabin, hopping and gets poisoned by fumes Same marshrutka 20 minutes later. Marshrutka with a final stop "settlement Sugar". All have sat down, places are occupied... Drove has got the car... Here the door is opened by the grandma... And there and then asks at vodily: "Milok, at you the end Sugar?". On marshrutke there has passed easy giggling... Drove not long thinking has answered: "I do not know, did not try!". On marshrutke has gone opened rzhach! The grandma having examined a hawk sight has understood salon, that empty seats are not present... And stretching 10р. vodile has told: "Take me standing!". The driver falls out of a cabin in a snowdrift and shivers in a fit of hysteria …
@музыка: Night Snipers - 31st spring
@настроение: prishiblennoe, as from under an asphalt spreader...
@темы: ,
Sunday, on August, 31st 2008
The summer has left, having waved at parting the warm wing...
All sum up. Probably, it is necessary also to me to put end.
__________________________________________
Readout is opened to autumn days. I rejoice and exult.
Hi, Autumn. For three months you my guest. Do not stand at a threshold, already it is time.
Enter.
@музыка: Picnic - There on most on the brink of the earth
@настроение: the hermetical
@темы:
Friday, on August, 29th 2008
I always dreamt to get an economy, and here - any person can present to me the Lamb! Very much it would be desirable, that many lambs have lodged in my house (though also plasticine).
@музыка: Thirty three cows... (At what here cows!?)
@настроение: almost good))
@темы: , ,
Thursday, on August, 28th 2008
Was tested, defining age when I will die. Result - in 63 years. It so is a lot of... I will be such old when to me will be 63... I do not wish to be old... The Old age is a program of an organism which can be cancelled, knowing the mechanism. Recently heard on the TV)).
@музыка: Semantic hallucinations - eternally young
@настроение: the puzzled
@темы:
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